How to win your love back

4 05 2009

How can you win back the love that has gone?  First, you have to figure out what went wrong with your relationship.

What did you do?

What did you not do?

What did you over do?

What did you slightly do?

When you cheated, or hurt your partner physically or emotionally, that’s a huge reason to break up with you.  You don’t expect your partner to still hang there and pretend like nothing happened, right?  But sometimes, we do something and we’re not aware that we have been hurting our love ones, or we don’t care that they’re hurting (that’s bad).  And now, we want them back.. well, good luck to that.  We have to learn to accept our mistakes, and do our best not to do those mistakes again.

Does the things you did not do could affect your relationship with your partner?  Yes, especially when it is something that your partner had been asking you, and you did not even cared to try, or you’re that busy you have no extra time for that.  It is not about that special requests from your partner, these things could be time, a quality time together.  Spending quality times with your partner is very important.  Lack of time could make your partner think that he/she’s not important to you anymore.  And it could be one of the reasons why you broke up.. now you have an idea how to win your partner back.. at least.

Whatever that’s overly done is not right.  It’s like overdosing yourself from a drug, it could kill you, it could give you hallucinations, and it’s not healthy.  In a relationship, if you’re always giving everything, and always willing to do everything for your partner, and is not receiving the same from them, but it’s still okay with you, it’s not healthy either.  That only fits to a parent-child relationship, and if this goes on.. your partner will be so dependent on you.  There are some people who likes them to be treated like that, but not all wants to be a king or queen in the hearts of their love ones.  Yes, he/she have to be no.1 in your heat, but your partner to be the king or queen.. then your the slave?  Because it’s you who gives more love, then you become the slave, who gives whatever your highness asks.. or even not asked.

The thing is, you should also love youself.  Maybe your partner is one of the people who don’t want to be treated like a queen or a king.  Maybe your partner wants to give their best to reciprocate that love, but yours is so overwhelming that they cannot give themselves the way you do.  So maybe, that’s one of the reasons why he/she left you.  Love your partner, but don’t forget to love yourself.

Now, if there’s overdosing.. there’s also lack of love.  It could also be not giving much time to your partner, or you simply don’t know how to show your love for them.  But if you don’t love your partner that much before, and now you’re so very much into him/her, but it’s too late.. now is the right time to change.

It’s not too late to make a change, show your ex that you’ve changed.  Show him/her that you’re worth the second chance, or third maybe.. but don’t push yourself, just be friendly and be confident (which are the second and third tips).

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How do you survive a long distance relationship?

13 04 2009

Many says it’s impossible.  There are others who says it’s possible, but it’s very difficult to handle.  A lot of sacrifices are needed to make it work, and you should double or triple your trust to your partner.  They say, the longer times you’re not together, the weaker your relationship gets.  And the longer times you have not seen each other, the lesser interest or lesser attraction you’ll feel towards your long distance partner.  So the end point is, separation (a permanent separation of a temporarily separated relationship).  It’s sad, but most long distance relationships, ends like that.

But what did they do, what have they done to their relationships to make it work that they’re now together and living happily with their partners?  What sacrifices did they do to achieve what they have now?

The answers are in your own relationship.  See how much you can give.  How much you can sacrifice for it, and how strong your feelings are for each other.  If you can trust your partner more than you trust him/her before. If you hear anything about anyone who’s linking to your partner, never confront him/her without concrete evidences.  Remember, trust is what you can only hang on to, and you will not enter into this kind of relationship if you don’t trust this person.  If you love each other enough, and if you respect each other deeply, and if you both understand each others’ situation, it’s not impossible to get through long distance relationship.  Anyway, you’re not always away from each other.

Communication is very important in every relationship.  If your communication to each other is not fading, or if you have constant time for each other.  Maybe, you can get through it too, and if you believe that you will be together too soon.  No matter how soon that is, what’ s important is, you agreed to each other that you’ll be strong for your relationship, and that the time will come that you’ll be together again.

Sacrifices are also necessary in a long distance relationship.  If you’re willing to give up some important things or persons or job for your partner, to be able to get near him/her, do it.  Because in life, you cannot have it all, you have to choose what you think will make you happier.  Between career and love, but you don’t have to choose between your relationship and your family and friends.. because you can still see them once in a while and be with your partner away from them.  What more can you ask for if you’re with someone you’ve been longing to be with?

Long distance relationship only works to couples who have deep love, trust, understanding and respect to their partners.  But a relationship who possesses those traits, but do not have enough patience at all, will not survive it.  Patience is a virtue.. always.





Is love is still in the air?

25 02 2009

Valentines day had passed.  Now everyone is busy at work and trying to earn again the money they used on that special day.  But, is it worth it?  Did everything ended up to something that you planned and dreamed of?  Did the air filled with love when you were together on that night? on that whole day of 14th?

Isn’t it nice to see couples holding hands while walking, eating on fine restaurants with music filled with love.  Then you can really say that “love is in the air”.  But on the other side of it, there are some couples who break and are fighting on that very special day for lovers.  For reasons that all relationships had encountered.  Maybe they still tried to fix it and be sweet like the other  couples, but just can’t be.  Anyway, you can’t hide hatred and all the emotions hanging on your head and pretend like you’re ok when it’s really not.  That maybe the idea of Valentines date just worsen the fight.

And now couples of days had passed, does the  sweet couples of Valentines day are still sweet? or become sweeter?  How does Valentines affect your relationship?  Does it makes you more open to each other, and made your relationship stronger?  Because some remained dull.  No matter how hard they try to save the relationship, it just can’t, maybe it’s better to cut it off, before it create more damage to both of them.  That maybe they can still be friends, maybe they’ll be better of friends than lovers.  Anyway, some ex-couples become friends, just as long as they had a good break up, no more hard feelings, and everything had a nice closure.

Love should not always be just on the 14th of February, or on 25th of December as they say.  Though those are special days, isn’t it better if we feel it all through the year,  and have no feeling of being so caught by the special holiday where lovers should be sweet all over and gifts given away to special someones?  Though those days just happen once a year, sometimes it’s all frustating that someone or rather everyone is expecting you of something which you cannot give.  Maybe it’s something that we just have to live with, because that’s the way it is, and we can’t do nothing to change it.  Just maybe next time, be more honest to each other, so there will be no risk of losing something.





The Importance of Family Communication

31 01 2009

“Families are all about communication and compromise” –  Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P

How often does your family communicate?  Do you talk about your everyday experiences and checks how are each other?  Or just simple hey what’s up? I’m ok.. end of discussion..  or worst, none?

Many families are experiencing lack of communication, although they all live together but they don’t often talk to each other.  How does this happen?  Are they invisible to each other, or they just don’t know how to speak up and open a communication?  For a kid having this family is not healthy for him. He become hesitant to talk about his problems for example in school; when he has a failing grade and his parents are needed to talk to the principal for their child’s performance.  Teenagers however, may no longer ask for his parent’s attention and rather he’ll just seek it to his friends.  He may be lucky enough to have good friends around him or badly as he could be involved with alcohol, tobacco and/or illegal drugs.

It is important to keep the lines of communication open in a family.  Start a good communication on the dining table.  Eating dinner together is the best time and place to communicate and reconnect to each other.  You can talk about each others’ favorite part or biggest challenge of the day.  Or maybe you can make it something playful like “If you would be any super hero, what would you be and why? “.. which could only work for kids below 12 ( imagine if you asked that to your teenage kid ).  And when it comes to teenagers, it will be a little bit hard for you to talk to them especially on the boyfriend/girlfriend issue.  But just let them know that you’re always there to listen and ready to help them on their problems.

Good communication skills in a family may build self-esteem, because a child learns of his capabilities from what his family tells him of himself.  But not in a way that you’ll give comments like “you’re good”, “you’re wonderful”, “you’re perfect”.. and don’t say he’s perfect because he might just answer you back like “isn’t it, nobody’s perfect?” ( children are much intelligent these days ).  Rather, be a nurturing parent, which build self confidence and point out his skills and strengths that will make him aware of his worth.

Your relationship with your family will be stronger if you start opening a good communication today.