How to win your love back

4 05 2009

How can you win back the love that has gone?  First, you have to figure out what went wrong with your relationship.

What did you do?

What did you not do?

What did you over do?

What did you slightly do?

When you cheated, or hurt your partner physically or emotionally, that’s a huge reason to break up with you.  You don’t expect your partner to still hang there and pretend like nothing happened, right?  But sometimes, we do something and we’re not aware that we have been hurting our love ones, or we don’t care that they’re hurting (that’s bad).  And now, we want them back.. well, good luck to that.  We have to learn to accept our mistakes, and do our best not to do those mistakes again.

Does the things you did not do could affect your relationship with your partner?  Yes, especially when it is something that your partner had been asking you, and you did not even cared to try, or you’re that busy you have no extra time for that.  It is not about that special requests from your partner, these things could be time, a quality time together.  Spending quality times with your partner is very important.  Lack of time could make your partner think that he/she’s not important to you anymore.  And it could be one of the reasons why you broke up.. now you have an idea how to win your partner back.. at least.

Whatever that’s overly done is not right.  It’s like overdosing yourself from a drug, it could kill you, it could give you hallucinations, and it’s not healthy.  In a relationship, if you’re always giving everything, and always willing to do everything for your partner, and is not receiving the same from them, but it’s still okay with you, it’s not healthy either.  That only fits to a parent-child relationship, and if this goes on.. your partner will be so dependent on you.  There are some people who likes them to be treated like that, but not all wants to be a king or queen in the hearts of their love ones.  Yes, he/she have to be no.1 in your heat, but your partner to be the king or queen.. then your the slave?  Because it’s you who gives more love, then you become the slave, who gives whatever your highness asks.. or even not asked.

The thing is, you should also love youself.  Maybe your partner is one of the people who don’t want to be treated like a queen or a king.  Maybe your partner wants to give their best to reciprocate that love, but yours is so overwhelming that they cannot give themselves the way you do.  So maybe, that’s one of the reasons why he/she left you.  Love your partner, but don’t forget to love yourself.

Now, if there’s overdosing.. there’s also lack of love.  It could also be not giving much time to your partner, or you simply don’t know how to show your love for them.  But if you don’t love your partner that much before, and now you’re so very much into him/her, but it’s too late.. now is the right time to change.

It’s not too late to make a change, show your ex that you’ve changed.  Show him/her that you’re worth the second chance, or third maybe.. but don’t push yourself, just be friendly and be confident (which are the second and third tips).

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Spend quality time with your partner

10 02 2009

“Every relationship needs quality time for the bond to remain close and to strengthen over time. Without quality time together a couple will gradually become distant and somewhat alienated from each other.” –Darren G. Burton, “How To Keep Your Man: And Keep Him For Good”

Spending quality time with your partner is as important as keeping your diet balance. You keep your diet to keep you fit and healthy, same thing should be in a relationship. To keep your relationship healthy, you should keep the communication with your partner and at least once or twice a week to spend times alone together. But how can you do it when you have kids to look at to? And your spouse gets home at night from work, tired. Is it still possible for you and your partner to spend times together?

There are ways which have been tried and practical in a way that you don’t have to give super effort to achieve it.

Make your weekends exclusively for family

It is simply no work on weekends. Make a deal that no one will bring work at home during weekends. Weekends is suppose to be the day for relaxation and days to cope with family. You can save Saturdays as your fixed date with your partner: go out and have fun just like what you used to when you were dating before. And on Sundays is for your family. A simple picnic will do, or share popcorn or pizza while watching a movie at home, or if you have budget, going to the mall is what children would really love.

Drive to/from work together whenever you can

If both of you are working, and you have the same destinations, driving together is a good chance to talk and catch up to each other. Listening to music can start up a good talk. And try not to talk about work as long as you can.

Plan and cook meal together

You can add some spice to your relationship while cooking together. Plan to cook something that both you haven’t tried before, or try to experiment and name it after your names or your kid’s name.

It doesn’t matter how long you spend time with each other, as long as you enjoy those times that you’re together. You cannot expect your partner to give his/her full attention to you. Because beside from work, there are things a person wants to do it only by him/herself. Spending times together is important in a relationship, but doings things separately sometimes, may help your relationship grow stronger.